Even a Sociopath Like Me…

I hate you all. I sit back and laugh at the crimson rivers. My favorites are the children. Mangled bloody children. What a gas.

My disdain for our species knows no bounds, including astronomical levels of self-loathing. And if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: if I hate myself this much, how do you think I feel about you? All of you.

Still, despite my self-contempt and lusty, oh so gratifying outward contempt for all the rest of you, I’m not interested in dying. The rest of you can fuck all, but I want to watch. I want to see it. You can’t be a top notch sociopath if you ain’t alive to bear witness.

Bear witness!

Thus, I shall make my point. I’m not interested in getting shot and killed by some raging nitwit who lacks the creativity to separate themselves from the other mass-murdering sheep. Picking up a gun and doing what dozens of other uncreative shitsticks are doing every day? So basic. Is that how you want to go out, America? At a mall or school or church or concert or festival or…you see? I could go on but the list has basically been covered. There’s nothing special about it anymore.

You see, even a self-loathing sociopath like me still understands the value of his own life. I don’t want to be killed by some angry nobody with a gun.
So, what’s the solution? I’m not certain, but there does appear to be statistics about this shit. There’s readily available data that suggests…and hear me out…there’s data that suggests that the proliferation and ease of which one can obtain a firearm makes it easier to use a firearm. Call me crazy, I know.

Prove me crazy, and I can likely still buy a gun.

Here’s the thing I am not going to gun-wash the entire problem in this country. We do have societal wide issues that are contributing to all of these murders. It would be naïve to ignore this, but I don’t think any of us are. Everyone just wants a solution. Except me. Again, I’m a sociopath. I’m enjoying this.

Whatever your stance on gun control is, can we all just agree upon one thing? Your children are getting murdered so a handful of people (relatively speaking) can make a shitload of money. It’s always the money with humanity. Every time. It’s the money.

So, just hear me out. Even a sociopath like me can see that if for some reason, somehow in some weird alternate version of our reality, ending the right to own firearms was more profitable for these glorious fellow sociopaths who are killing your children, you wouldn’t be able to buy guns anymore.

Again, if these people who are making shit tons of money off your children being murdered discovered it was somehow more profitable to stop selling you guns, you wouldn’t be able to buy guns anymore.

So, lefties and righties, you don’t have to agree on everything. But, I would suggest agreeing on the fact that your children, friends, parents, and siblings are getting murdered so that a handful of jerks can make a whole lot of money. That’s it. That’s the deal. That’s something even a sociopath like me can see.