Truant Memphis
Pages From The Filling Station

Consumer Babies for the GDP Win

5/17/2019

 
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Three aborted fetuses walk into a bar. They would have been U.S. citizens with the opportunity for success, failure, paying taxes, and most importantly, consumerism. Instead, just as with their conception, their fate was determined outside of their own choosing. Lucky jerks.

While abortion rights have generally been the most divisive political tool of my lifetime, to my knowledge (and though I'm certain this is not original thought), I’ve never happened across the argument I’m about to lay out. Just recently, I saw information regarding the pro-life movement as a means of crowd control. The argument is logical, though I think it falls short of a grander motivation. It's true, forcing people to have babies they may not be able to afford, or simply should not have for any number of reasons, also helps keep millions upon millions of people subjugated by their financial overlords. And we know how our overlords get wet in their naughty parts whilst day dreaming about all of their delicious control, don’t we?

We sure do. But, I would argue the control factor is secondary to a greater lust. Yes, there is something that makes a capitalist monster's tits tingle even more than control: profit. In general, a Kingdom’s citizenry is its most valuable gross domestic product. That’s why the power players want those baby factories pumping the little shits down the conveyor. Money. So, while we continually point out the hypocrisy of the “right-to-lifers” who basically want to make sure every child is born, but don’t want to take care of humans that are already alive and need help, we need to stop being baffled by said hypocrisy. We need to recognize what a fantastic Trojan horse conservatism has built for itself.

Every baby born is an opportunity for those at the top of the financial food chain to make more money, including our government. First of all, child birth and rearing is big business. We all know this. Then those little shits grow up to be consumers and tax payers, just like you and me. Even if they grow up poor and stay poor, they still pay into the system in some form or fashion. The profit margins on the poor certainly aren’t as strong, but man, the poor sure are easy to bleed dry and dispose of.

Meanwhile, as we fight over abortion, the right hand if you will, no one will have time to watch what the GOP is doing with their left hand. It’s simple and brilliant. Even if Roe v. Wade is overturned, the GOP will just continue to convince their voting base the Dems are going to keep fighting for the right to kill those precious babies, which they will. And all the while, we the masses, whichever side of the fight we are on, remain this nation’s greatest gross domestic product. Rippin’ and runnin’, churnin’ and burnin’, spending, spending, spending, funneling that money all the way to the top, baby.

So, bring on those little consumer GDP babies. Each one is an opportunity for some douchenozzle like Jeffrey Preston Bezos or that robot Zuckerberg to take money from (let’s remember that the wealthy don’t have to be classically conservative to benefit from conservative rule…). Each new baby is a potential GOP voter and payer of taxes, and if they don’t turn out that way, just leave ‘em in the Pit of Despair.

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He's Beginning to Believe

4/23/2019

 
Maybe there is some wicked Illuminati Billionaire Preppers Club getting ready for a climate apocalypse. I doubt 45 is in on the plans. Hims a tacky puppet him is. But, maybe a few of these ultra-wealthy global humanity board-game players realize the United States is about to shrink. If they want to comfortably survive climate catastrophe in their cushy Midwest bunkers, they don't want a bunch of poor foreigners banging on their doors.

Nope, nope. Best to keep them in their under-developed regions of the world where they will be easily wiped out by Mother Nature. The culling is the writing on the wall. Why try to prevent it? It's gonna happen anyway. Thus, fucktards scramble for enough wealth to make the I Will Survive team, while most of those that are already in the club appear to approach the oncoming madness with a, "Let's just make this shit worse and get the whole thing over with," attitude, like a coal-powered-yacht buying Slim Pickens riding a nuke.
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Second Fuckalonians Chapter 1, Verses 1-5

4/1/2019

 
Everywhere I go, I’m the problem. No less true today than the first time I had this realization over a decade ago. I’m the problem. Why? I’m not certain. Perhaps I simply take this entire situation too seriously.

I was raised in the Southern Baptist Church. Thus, I was indoctrinated at an early age that this is serious business. Life is serious business. We’re all in a battle for our very souls. Our very souls! An eternity in heaven or hell. Choose your weapon wisely. Maybe this is my problem. Apparently, I was highly susceptible to training. I was highly susceptible to feeling special. God chose me? Nice.

Now I’m middle aged and weary. Tired of hedging my spiritual bets. Tired of watching everything I was taught to believe in continue to crumble away. For the time being, to define the scope, let’s refer to the Golden Rule as the gist of everything I was taught to believe in.

With the Golden Rule, along with the rest of the loving teachings of Jesus downloaded into my fleshy brain goo, I walked away from religion years ago, probably around the same time I first thought to myself, “Everywhere I go, I’m the problem.” Of course, despite having walked away from the religion that helped train me into believing I was a spiritual being, I’m still formed by those teachings. The program files are still running in my brain goo cpu. My heart’s desire to be good, to do good, to protect my soul against an eternity of damnation, that desire still rules my existence. Again, I call it hedging my spiritual bets.

Back to point, perhaps I take this whole situation too seriously. I look around at a world that appears to have lost its collective mind. Even those screaming into the wind that none of this is as it should be have likely given into lunacy (at least on some level), in order to survive all this nonsense. I’m certain I have. Why Bob, why?
 

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Living My Best Ostrich Life

3/11/2019

 
Despite my personal compulsion to stay engaged as much as possible, I have no qualms with escapism. In fact, for me, the pendulum must swing all the way from engagement to complete detachment, in order to maintain sanity. I assume this is common.

Will escaping move the world forward? On certain levels, yes, through the creative enterprise of particular escapists. On other levels, it's simply a necessary drug. A pacifier to ease the pains of cultural existence. Luckily, as far as we know and despite what some may tell you, none of this matters.
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2018

12/31/2018

 
Time is not an illusion. It is a construct. A necessary construct for fleshy, mortal lives. This is, indeed, the end of the year on our Earth, no matter the amount of flippant jokes my cohorts and numerous unknown others prefer to make.

The year 2018 on Earth 1, or Alpha Earth, or whatever the fuck I choose to call the version of Earth at the center of my personal universe, well, our 2018 was relatively shitty. But, not as bad as 2017. 2018 saw a lot of wins for the good guys. A lot of losses as well. Such is life, I suppose.

All I know is, I can see and feel the sand sifting in the giant time glass that is our biological clock. There is more to be done. More work to get done. So, come to us 2019. Come to us bearing more time and more energy, and we will serve you with our efforts, for time is our only master. The only foe we can't defeat or hide from. The only lover that's never left.

Anyway, most humans suck, life on Earth is a dirty trick pulled on unsuspecting souls, there is no God, and all your heroes are full of shit. Thank Bob we've got art. Happy New Year.

Cheers,

-T.M.

PS - In all seriousness, let's kick 2019 in the dick. Happy New Year, for real.


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My Goat

12/20/2018

 
I have a goat with a monkey on his back.....
The monkey stole the feet from a big fat yack.....
The big fat yack sat down in a crack.....
And the crack sighed, "Why is my life so black?"
And the Lord said, "Because you were a jerk when you were alive, so I put your soul in a crack in the ground, and now you are stuck with a big fat yack ass in your "face" blocking out all the sun, and he ain't got no feet, so I don't think he will be goin anywhere anytime soon. So maybe next time you won't be such a jerk."
And the crack said, "Next time?"
And the Lord said, "We'll see. Now stare at that yack ass."

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I'll See Your Immigration Issues and Raise You At Least One Viable Solution

11/20/2018

 
I've seen immigration issues arise on several other versions of Earth, as well as on numerous planets outside our galaxy and universe (and entire plane of existence for that matter).

On most versions of Earth, I must unfortunately admit much of the xenophobia remains. However, on Earth 11, one highly industrious and extremely wealthy individual created an amazing solution. To my knowledge, it revolutionized the course of humanity. To be honest, from what I can tell, Earth 11 is pulling a lot of weight for the forces of good in the cosmic balance between good and evil.

Anyway, here's what happened. A billionaire, when confronted with the demonization of refugees attempting to flee horrible circumstances, decided to take matters into his/her own hands. His/her idea? A 100% renewable energy operated, agriculturally self-sustaining community in the middle of nowhere (AKA....all that fucking open land in mid-western United States).

He/she sought other altruistic wealthy people to invest and off they went. A city was built from the ground up. The billionaire negotiated with the government to chill the fuck out about all these scary ass refugees that were attempting to invade our country for the purposes of working low wage jobs and avoiding being murdered by drug cartels. Thus, the refugees were allowed the option to sign up to help build this city, their future home, in exchange for a path to citizenship and a life free from the tyranny of the lands they fled.

And they did. They worked their asses off to see a better future for themselves and their children (much like the first wave of outside settlers into the United States, except without all the horrific murder and stealing of land from natives). The most beautiful sight was the sense of ownership these peaceful humans took in their city's creation from the ground up. Was everything perfect? No. But eventually, a thriving metropolis of over a million people sat smack dab in the middle of what was once uninhabited land.

You may be asking, what about water? As you might imagine, building a 100% renewable city from the ground up required a shit-ton of scientific innovation (and yes...I've actually made shit-ton a scientific measure...I can do stuff like that). Anyway, rational limitations on daily water usage along with other logical sustainability statutes were established from the onset, but one of the greatest innovations came in the form of water renewal. The key was keeping waste out of the water! (A novel fucking idea to say the least...) Alongside that, the infrastructure of the city was built in such a way that all plumbed water was contained in a closed system, continuously cycling through a purification system. The costs and energy usage for cleaning the water would understandably be high, except for, you know, the city being self-sustained and powered by 100% renewable energy. It was a giant, healthy organism. A beacon to the free world. A light shined on the ridiculousness of all humanity's previous excuses for the horrible treatment of less fortunate people and the planet as a whole.

The city, named Futroplis (future + metropolis, submitted by 5th grader Danny Trate the Fourth) after a public vote, went on to be the home of a world renowned university. Professional sports franchises were established and quickly won championships. The world's most skilled chefs, doctors, and oddly enough, punk rockers, would call Futroplis their home.

The city was the greatest example of human engineering in history, and would eventually be named capital of the free world, though that came hundreds of years later when the global democracy was established, after the invasion of the Dougtonians from Borialis 15. Dougtonians are an alien race of bland features, super boring domestic lives, poorly conceived art, and an insatiable desire for militaristic conquest of other planets to compensate for all their shortcomings.

Anyway, it's a shame our Earth doesn't have any super wealthy altruistic people who could come together and do something like this. Yeah. A damn shame.

Oh, that wealthy donor on Earth 11? Her name was Maria. To my knowledge, she does not have an interdimensional twin on our version of Earth, so we're probably screwed. Hail Frump.

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On Humanity Pt. 2: Dear Humanity (or... My Shortest Essay Ever)

10/29/2018

 
We're all fucking morons.
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On Humanity

10/17/2018

 
I love our many colors and our many cultures. There is so much to be learned from our differences, so much personal growth to be had in the discovery of something foreign from our individual make-up.

Unfortunately, our species was endowed with this baffling paradoxical nature, equally capable of hate and violence as love and understanding. I would happily sacrifice some of the wonders of our existence that are born of conflict to see us stop killing one another. To see evil no longer be a situational requirement of our lives.

Thus, I would be perfectly happy to see humanity evolve into a species of monochromatic unisex organisms whose prevailing emotion is empathy.
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Winter Is Coming, Damn It.

10/12/2018

 
I’m weary. Here I sit with this privileged life, having only suffered minor - and often self-inflicted - hardship, yet I’m exhausted. Unfortunately, my exhaustion is not from the type of positive effort I wish I consistently put forth towards the betterment of my soul and this world. Rather, it is the type of fatigue that comes from overthinking instead of doing. From lamenting instead of fighting. From suppressing instead of coping. An underwhelming sense of dread.

The world has suddenly developed a dramatic love affair with fascism, authoritarianism, and racism. Let’s call the combined three-headed monster of negative ismry, suckism. I know, suckism has been brewing for a while, but the movement’s most recent leap into the mainstream has been a dramatic eye opening for all of us who were piddling along the timeline of our mundane existence thinking things were generally moving in the right direction, however slow that movement may have been. We’ve now come to discover what we can only hope is the last spastic gasp of this utterly vile aspect of human horseshit.

Of course, it really doesn’t matter if suckism gets eradicated (which it won’t), now that we’ve discovered our destruction of the planet is accelerating at an alarming rate of...acceleration (that’s right). It’s possible that if my poor behavior doesn’t kill me first, I may yet live to see humanity’s destruction on a global scale. Despondency invites itself to my home for dinner before the show. I tried hiding in the basement, but I left the front door unlocked.

I don’t want to grow old and watch the world die alone. I could still have a family. A partner. Children. Grandchildren if I’m lucky. Then I realize I’m not certain I could live with the guilt of bringing them into this world. I’m not certain I’m happy I was brought into this world. I mean, each and every one of us is brought into this world against our own will, then told to sink or swim. Some of us get thrown life preservers and some get chained to rocks, but none of us asked for this horseshit. Anyone who loves their life is basically suffering from Stockholm syndrome. How could I do that to someone else, simply hoping they are way happier to be alive than I am?

Oh well. Maybe I will get to witness society crumble as mother nature ravages humanity. Maybe I will get to take sides in the last great battle between human good and evil. If shit hits the fan soon enough, I suppose I could get into that. We would fight for the sake of goodness and hope in the face of impossible odds. We would have children in the midst of all this madness, as propagation of the species would once again be paramount. We would win the war, pay homage to mother nature and play by her rules, raise our children to understand the madness that led to this and endow them with the knowledge and wisdom not to make the same mistakes we made.

But I’m already so tired. So tired, and there’s work on Monday. There’s bills to pay. We’ll just have to figure all this other shit out later, when we have more time. When we’re not exhausted. Not so damn weary.

I probably just need some exercise.

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Please Stop Personalizing Truth

9/10/2018

 
In the age of the proliferation of the Bobdamned "Fake News" phenomenon, I beg all humans, please stop personalizing truth. As I sit here recording the history of countless creatures and species, my focus has been hijacked by the trials and tribulations of my Earth's era of 45.

Of course, the factors that allowed him began long before him and will continue long after him. The United States was well known for hyperbole and pop-culture catch phrases. The proliferation of the internet has only made those cultural personality quirks more...proliferated.

Anyway, I have grown as weary of the terms "my truth, your truth, his truth, her truth," and any other possessive addresses for truth as I have the steaming pile of dog shit that is the catch phrase, fake news.

Stop personalizing truth! Truth isn't yours, his, hers, or theirs. Truth is universal. Truth is truth. The idea that truth can be personalized is half the fucking problem with this entire fake news, flat-earther, I'ma believe what I want culture. Stop it. Just stop.

Truth is truth.
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Where Is My Patience Now?

9/7/2018

 
I wrote the short essay below in January of 2017. When finished, I saved the file and kept it to myself. Posting these types of writings to sites like Facebook has always been a tenuous decision for me, and I've discovered I typically regret airing my views after the fact, if for no other reason than you get a handful of people who already agree with you cheering for you, which isn't really the point. Of course, there's often the very common, one person disagrees with you in the comments section and instead of being able to then have a progressive, healthy back and forth with them, those who agree with you go on the attack and any possible healthy conversation falls apart. I've unfortunately been one of the attackers before, and I find the impulse maddening, though very difficult to ignore at times.
     Anyway, the reason I'm placing this now and not back dating this post to when the article was actually written, is to highlight the difference in my tone a little less than two years ago, as opposed to today. Frankly, like most of those who have stayed engaged in this madness, I'm currently exhausted. My patience is thin. I'm losing the will to try and reason with people, though it is just as/if not more important today than yesterday. I'm self-policing a bit, trying to remember that at the end of the day, I do believe most of these people that continue to support this absurd cabal of a White House administration have been duped, as opposed to being purely evil. The evil is there, yes, but most of the minions are just knuckleheads that need reprogramming.

So...along those lines...

The Trump Constituent Consistency Calamity

Recently read a book for work titled Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. One of the chapters dealt with the consistency principle. The general idea of the consistency principle is, for whatever reason human beings naturally crave consistency. Therefore, it is often human nature to stand by a belief despite all signs pointing to that belief being incorrect, out of date, completely insane, or even detrimental to one’s own health.
     This is what we are witnessing in regards to Donald Trump’s supporters. However, we also witnessed this in the primaries. Despite all the warning signs the HRC was a tenuous candidate, and that people who didn’t like her were large in number and had some legitimate complaints, her supporters simply doubled-down. - I’m not here to argue the popular vote win or the electoral college…the end result is the reality we are dealing with, and proves thru the science of “this is actually happening” that HRC’s candidacy was indeed tenuous - We saw the same thing with the conservative Christian community making every excuse possible for supporting a man who has cheerfully, gleefully, lived outside the generally excepted rules and regulations of Christian Dogma.
     I don’t bring this up to throw stones at Hillary supporters, or Trump supporters but to denote commonality.
     There is going to be a large portion of people who voted for Trump that are going to continue their support despite all signs pointing to the fact that he is screwing them. That is obvious. Understanding why they are doing so is important in combating this issue. It’s not because everyone who supports Trump is inherently evil or stupid. For many, it’s because they felt disenfranchised (whether incorrect or not…it’s how they felt), and chose to hear what they wanted to hear, to believe what they wanted to believe, and now in the aftermath it is human nature to resist admitting being incorrect.
     I have noticed Trump supporters continuing to attack HRC. Why waste the time? The election is over and she lost. Why waste the time? Because for many, at the end of the day, dislike for her was the only reason they voted for Trump. In light of everything he is doing/trying to do that sucks, they have to double down on why they voted for him, clinging to their disdain for HRC.
     The divisiveness within the general population only appears to be increasing post-election, which was likely expected by many. The problem with this is it only leads to the continual screwing over of the general population. The most recent statistical information I could find showed that 84% of this country’s populace is financially ranked “Lower-Middle Class or below”. 84%! FYI - It has been this way for a long time, whether government was dominated by Republicans or Democrats.
     Donald Trump has no interest in changing this. Please note, I’m not arguing that HRC did. I do think there are still politicians that want to do right by the American people. It’s just hard for us to figure out who they are. However, what is easy to figure out is Donald Trump does not have the little guy at heart. There are absolutely zero examples that he does.
     What else is easy to figure out, is that just blowing up the system is not the answer. The answer is the American people not taking for granted their right to be engaged in their own well being. We have the right to vote. We have the right to protest. History shows that when the American people get off their ass and insist on change from its government, it has been successful. We got lazy. Not everyone, but enough of us got so lazy we allowed our politicians to run amuck and the system to become dangerously polluted. It’s our job to police them, but instead we fight with each other, succumbing to the propaganda that allows those who would do us harm to continue their actions unnoticed.
     Thus, I would beg of my fellow man, my fellow 84 percenter, just stop. Stop screaming at one another long enough to realize we are all getting screwed. The levels of which some in the 84% have it better or worse than others in the 84% are minuscule in comparison to how badly we are all getting screwed over as a whole. Yes, I said minuscule, and not without an acute awareness to racial and gender inequality in this country. I don’t deny those issues or the desperate need to combat them, but that’s how much larger I think the grand screwing of us all is compared to the very distinct levels of privilege some members of the 84% have over others. It’s that bad. I know it’s easy for me to say…but it’s not without considerate thought or empathy for those whom I know I have privilege over. For example - the estimated 20 million who will lose health care if/when the ACA is repealed - that 20 million is of all creeds and colors. The refusal to raise minimum wage? That screws all creeds and colors. Refusing to deal with the science of the declining health of our planet? Hahaha says the money hoarding corporate sociopath, that screws everyone!
     If we change things at the top, it will filter down. AKA if we policed and selected our leadership better, which requires personal accountability of each citizen, I believe extremely frightening realities like the relationship between cops and the African American community would naturally improve. I may be wrong. This may be Pollyannish of me, but I believe it to be true. Better leadership would do everything they could to mend these wounds, not hijack the issue for political benefit. They would reason with those who don’t understand these issues are real, not call them deplorable.
     To those Donald Trump supporters that are not the least common racist bigoted wildly misinformed denominator, I would specifically beg of you: Don’t double-down. If your heart or mind calls into question the choice you made, change your position. You can do it quietly, without having to throw yourself at the feet of anyone. Just please don’t continue the fight for the sake of fighting. To those on the other side, fighting the oppressive nature of Trump and his ilk, I would ask that you remember it’s easier to get people up onto your wagon by extending them a hand. Telling them their stupid for not getting on will just make them hate your wagon.
     We are all the 84%, the poor fighting in the arena, bloodying ourselves for the amusement and benefit of the elite.
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Why Racism Is Stupid...and Lazy

8/24/2018

 
I suppose, first and foremost, we must affirm here from the beginning, racism is stupid. You would think this should go without saying, but apparently...

And it's not just an issue on numerous versions of Earth, folks. Flips and Flops, Van-Dammians and Staloners (...realities beget alternate realities, where dreams beget weird ass planets and peoples), countless other species throughout the cosmos have been scapegoating and fighting one another for generations.

It's super easy to focus on the obvious reasons racism is stupid. For example, billions of people across the Earth realize that quite a few wealthy jerks use race as a method to gin up commoners anger towards one another, so they don't notice the wealthy penis being inserted in them from behind. There are other examples, but I'm not here to focus on the obvious. I'm here to understand why racism is stupid from a more practical place of contempt, not peace and love.

The reason racism is dumb as fuck is because there are so many better reasons to hate someone. Hate them for killing, hate them for hoarding wealth and not helping the poor, hate them for condemning other folks who ascribe to a different religion, hate them for cognitive dissonance, hate them for not using their Bobdamned turn signals when changing fucking lanes (Seriously, fuck you people...).

So, to review, racism is stupid because there are so many better reasons to hate. Now, why is it lazy? Because with the plethora of better reasons to hate somebody, a short sampling of solid excuses listed above, choosing racism as your platform of assholery is just flat out lazy. All you have to do is keep your eyes open for 5 seconds in this world to have a better qualified object for your contempt than the color of skin. It's insane. Honestly, if you're too lazy to find a better target for your contempt, then I have no respect for your negativity. In other words, if you resort to racism as the grand outlet for your evil, well then, when it comes to being an angry, evil asshole, your pretty much a basic bitch.

So, put a little effort into being an asshole, a little elbow grease into your career as a hateful jerk, a little gettyup in your douchebag saddle. I'll show you how it's done: I don't care what race you are, but I hate racists. So, find a worthy source for your anger you ignorant, lazy pricks, and if you can't, then I suggest you just go fuck yourselves.

See how easy that is?
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On Commitment

8/10/2018

 
I don't have commitment issues. I commit to things all the time. Work, writing projects, art projects, financial commitments.

What I suffer from is a condition I like to call not-wanting-another-person-to-fuck-up-my-life-itis.
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Ignorance Rehab

8/3/2018

 
I have a post coming soon about how stupid Racism is. Apparently, things being stupid is developing as a theme here in the Filling Station. While that post will take some intense, super-intellectualism to complete (AKA, I've got to think of some jokes to make it worth reading), this pre-post sequel doesn't require much thought.

I've seen a ton of planets. Mingled among numerous cultures throughout the universe. One thing I can tell you, the happiest planets are filled with empathy, even in the face of anger, hatred, and contempt. (You know...evil.)

I spoke to Jesus about this recently. I asked what the deal was, and he said he would answer my question the way Bob answered his when he asked Bob the same thing, then Jesus poked me in my left eye. Really hard. Both my eyes watered and he laughed his ass off. Then I understood.

When this racist uprising that humanity is currently facing comes to an end, I can tell you most of these racist people won't suddenly disappear. Once 45 has been crapped out and flushed down the toilet of history, these ignorant masses will still exist. Ostracization will not fix them. Despite how hard it will be, they must be repaired, rebuilt with love and kindness, if the powers of human "light and right" want to truly win the war.

In the midst of all the hatred being spewed forth, I understand this is a tough conversation. People don't want to hear this shit right now, but it's true. These ignorant practitioners of illogical contempt will not suddenly disappear. When the current battle is over, when the powers of good have won the day, the last step in recovery will be saving the lives of those who were led astray, those we care the least to save, the enemy's woeful foot soldiers. As many as possible must be rehabilitated, or humanity will be damned to repeat this episode time and again.

PS - Thank you Mr. Daryl Davis, and others like you, who walk while I talk.



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PHTSD - Post Humanity Traumatic Stress Disorder

7/25/2018

 
Humanity has an illness called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, a well known fact throughout the Multiverse. What I want to know is if there's a trauma center in the afterlife for all the souls that survive humanity.


Pssssst, the answer is yes. There's an entire wing in the Soul Closet where former humans are rehabilitated.
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Why Conspiracy Theories Are Stupid: The Deep State of Ignorance

7/16/2018

 
In the age of the dreaded Deep State, it feels important to reiterate the fallacies of man. To name a few: Stupid. Petty. Greedy. Jealous.

That's a good start. Those four qualities alone would most likely be paramount in the ego of any individuals striving for global sociological manipulation and dominance, and therefor the downfall of any ridiculous grand scheme to control the world. If there is an Illuminati, I doubt the organization could survive its own humanity.

So let's take this one step further. It's not that I don't think there are powers constantly trying to affect the world, one way or another. It's simply the idea that any particular force is capable of sustaining a dedicated path for humanity. There are too many variables, billions of people to throw monkeys into wrenches (or something like that...). We literally witness the ineffectiveness of global leadership on a daily basis. Thus, even if there is some Illuminatic council, or reasonable facsimile thereof, even if it's a team of brilliant alien scientists, or reasonable facsimile thereof (I don't know...brilliant alien philosophers, maybe?), I simply have a hard time believing that at best, most of their work would be reactionary, basically continuously putting out fires mankind's insanity ignites.

This isn't to say I don't think there are successful, isolated attempts at global level, organized chicanery. There clearly are. For instance, only Bob or The Council knows how the fuck Elvis Presley wound up getting picked to fake his own death and become an international assassin, but I promise you, Elvis' bad-assery does not support the idea that this world is somehow being controlled, by anyone. Even Bob checked out a while ago.

There is no one pulling one giant string on this Earth. Our collective reality is right in front of us to be dealt with. I understand this world can be daunting, and the concept of helplessness in the face of unforeseen, unspeakably powerful forces can actually be easier to accept than reality. Easier to accept than the accountability we all have as a species. But the truth is, no matter what we think we don't know, humanity is unfolding right in front of our eyes.
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Today, On Earth 23

7/10/2018

 
Believe it or not, there is a version of Earth even dumber than ours. On Earth 23, just today, or, more precisely, now, poor humans agreed to be subjugated by extremely wealthy humans of similar skin tone, in an effort to feel like they are on the winning team.

Oh, wait...
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GOP Jesus

6/27/2018

 
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We Are All Complicit

6/18/2018

 
Day after day I grow more despondent observing the atrocities of humanity. I should preface this by stating I'm dissatisfied with my own actions. They're not enough. It's difficult to see a clear path forward. Part of evil's repertoire is to assault you from so many sides you're too disoriented to fight back. This disorientation can simply lead to checking out. Unfortunately, I see that in myself as much as my fellow humans.

Yet, on Father's Day 2018, I see post after post on social media of people celebrating with their families interspersed with post after post of immigrant children being ripped away from their families. All I can think is, we are all complicit.

How the fuck can anyone, in good conscious,  keep posting trivial bullshit while our country is being torn apart from within? Yet, I want to do more and don't know where to begin, so I don't.

We are all complicit.
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The Sweet Life of a Russian Internet Troll: Fuckables and Drugs

5/25/2018

 

I've been wondering what the sweet life of a Russian internet troll is like. What's the atmosphere and feng shui at Trollsky and Putinoff? What's a typical day at the office? Do they have quotas? Bonuses? "Like", "Share" and "Retweet" goals. Is there a troll of the month award? Since they appear to argue both sides of any subject, is there a team liberal trolls and a team conservative trolls? Team Bernie Bros? Team just say any absurdly stupid thing you can?

Are the most successful trolls treated like Kingskys in Russia? Do they wear fur jogging suits and drink fine vodkas from platinum bear skulls? Do they have groupies? Do they make the rubles rain? Do they simply take their pick of  fuckables and drugs like a Bobdamned rock star?

Basically, what I'm getting at is, in a world full of dirtbags living opulent lives well beyond the means of a normal, decent hearted person, do I now have to add fucking internet trolls to the list of folks who I envy, while I continue hedging my bets on the existence of my soul, attempting to live morally in the off chance there is an eternal life?
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First Fuckalonians Chapter 2, Verse 3.

5/14/2018

 
So let me get this straight. Evangelicals support propping up Israel in Jerusalem. They are propping up Jews, who they believe won’t get into heaven, while alienating their fellow Christians in the region, because Evangelicals believe returning Jerusalem to Jews, again, a religion with which they do not agree, will help usher in the second coming of Jesus, a savior the Jews don’t believe in. And now Donald Trump is the hero of all this?

Lest this be taken the wrong way, I've nothing against Jewish folk or the average Christian. Or members of other religions. However, I do wholeheartedly have something against the zealot population within any of humanity's religions. Especially those intent on ushering in an apocalypse.
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The Sexiest Man Alive

1/1/2018

 
Every year I buy People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive issue and blow a load all over the cover. I’m not homosexual, I just find the exercise extremely empowering.
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The Wonderful World of Amazing Showers

7/11/2017

 
I like to get super high, then get in the shower and completely forget what I'm doing in there.

#justkiddingwaterconvservationisgenuinelyimportant
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Back on Earth...

7/4/2017

 
The plight of my mission: I am often away from my family and friends. It hurts.

The mixed blessing: Escaping the mental trappings of life on Earth. In this specific instance, my thoughts are inspired by corporate greed and consumer  support. Many corporations are being called to task for the way they treat employees, yet American consumers refuse to stop patronizing these pieces of shit. I find it absolutely baffling.

If you want these motherfuckers to change their practices, offering living wages and appropriate healthcare packages to their employees, stop fucking shopping there! The only way they will change is when they see their practices are affecting their bottom lines.

Is this obvious? I assumed it was obvious. Yet...
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